Jobing.com arena rocking right before the opening faceoff of Game 5

So I’ll admit it. I was ready to give up. I was at Game 5. It was a tough loss to stomach. I drove home, 45 minutes, in complete silence. I was ready to shave the playoff beard. Luckily for me (and unfortunately for Ms. AMSTS), I didn’t shave the beard. I abandoned all hope but watched Game 6. Refraining from giving up on my team just yet. The Coyotes did not disappoint. A fantastic showing by Bryzgalov won the ‘yotes the game 5-2. The series goes back to Phoenix on Tuesday, and who has two thumbs and a ticket to Game 7? This guy.

I don’t know if I can handle it. I nearly die in regular season games that go into overtime, a Game 7!?!?! I’m going to explode. If this goes the good way, it’ll be the highlight of my sports life. A loss, and it’s familiar devastating territory. Down there with Purdue’s loss to Wisconsin in ‘04, or Purdue’s loss in ‘07 to Ohio State, or the Orioles losing the 97 ALCS to the Indians, etc etc etc. Needless to say, I’ve been there before. It’s probably what brings me closest to the verge of tears in my life. I guess it’s either a privileged life, or I’m just way too emotionally invested in sports.

I think it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

So before I get into a big long spiel about everything, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone reading the website. We’re averaging over 25 visits a day, which is a ton, compared to what we were doing before baseball season. It’s all thanks to the Joe Morgan Drinking Game, and twitter. Speaking of which, follow us on twitter: @AMSTS

That being said, the Joe Morgan drinking game is a little dated, though still mostly accurate. Because of that, we’re going to put together the Joe Morgan Drinking Game v. 2.0. We’re now accepting your suggestions, please use the contact link above. In addition, once Fox starts their coverage, we most definitely will be introducing the Joe Buck (and Tim McCarver perhaps?) drinking game. It absolutely needs to be done. Apparently we’re quickly becoming your number one source for sports-related-alcoholism. My mom would be so proud.

So things are pretty miserable in the baseball world for me. The Orioles are 2-14 despite the best efforts of their starting pitchers to win games. Miserable batting, horrible relievers. Usually that doesn’t happen until August. Luckily, I’m able to distract myself with playoff hockey, and the fact that the Dolphins picked up Brandon Marshall, their first good WR in years. My friend Kevo, on the other hand, isn’t so lucky. An Orioles fan, Kevo was forced to suffer through a 2OT loss for his Sabres against the Bruins (bringing them one game away from elimination), It gets worse. A Bills fan, he was looking forward to the Bills picking Jimmy Clausen with the ninth pick. Or an offensive lineman. Or any position they needed depth. The Buffalo Bills promptly picked…. a running back. THEY HAVE TWO SOLID RUNNING BACKS, NO OFFENSIVE LINE AND NO OTHER OFFENSIVE THREATS. Life sucks in Buffalo tonight.

Speaking of Jimmy Clausen, I only wish he were in New York ala his fellow Notre Dame alum Brady Quinn, so I could see the disappointment in his face. I almost feel bad for the guy. He fell all the way from #3 on Kiper’s board to the 2nd round, and even then I’m having doubts it was a good pick for whatever team picks him up. Christ, Tim Tebow got drafted before him! Tim Tebow is about to become one of the biggest busts in the history of first round draft picks. The question arises whether or not Orton remains in Denver. I find it hard to believe you need to draft a QB after your current starter just came off a 3800 yard season. Of course, with the trade of Brandon Marshall, Denver is obviously trying to go for a younger team for potential long term success. We’ll see if it pays off.

While I’m taking in the draft, it made me think of how amazing the draft style would be useful in real life. Instead of getting hired at random intervals, it’d be pretty amazing if every industry had an annual draft. You declare for the draft, you interview with potentially interested companies, they put you through the motions at a combine-type thing, and you go home. You wake up on the day of the draft, sign on to watch the live simulcast and just wait. Will Bank of America call you and you’ll move to Charlotte, or will you get the call from Chase and move to Chicago? Or will you slide all the way down to Western Bank and Trust and be forced to move to Cheyenne? You’d watch your friends get picked, panic that they don’t really have your phone number, scream at the monitor. “THAT GUY DOESN’T KNOW A THING ABOUT EXCEL! HOW DID HE GO SO HIGH!??!” Finally you get the call, and realize that at least you have a job, even if you don’t really want to move to Flint.

Whiteout conditions in Phoenix.

So sure, for some of you it’s baseball season. Maybe it’s spring football season in other portions of the country (I’m looking at you, Alabama.) But for a lot of northerners and Canadians, it’s the best time of the year. For the rest of the country, it’s simply time to start watching the occasional hockey game.

If you’re a casual hockey fan or even “not” a hockey fan, and you have an HD TV (this is critical) I’d strongly encourage you to turn a game on (if you get Versus) for the following reasons:

1) Hockey in HD blows standard definition out of the water. It’s a completely different game. If you had trouble following the puck in standard definition, that problem is eliminated.

2) There’s no other venue where the players are trying their hardest for every minute of play. Yes, even the World Cup

3) You get to grow a playoff beard. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? COOLEST TRADITION EVER!

4) The passion of the fans. See the whiteout in Phoenix (obvious plug is obvious), the octopi in Detroit, the C of Red, the national anthems, the noise in general. It’s not your run of the mill regular season game, it’s time for the most passionate of fans.

5) Did I mention PLAYOFF BEARDS?

The playoffs begin on Wednesday with the Coyotes taking on the Red Wings. Like I said at the beginning of the year, if the Coyotes make the playoffs, they’ll have no problem filling up the house. I was right, as usual, as Games 1 and 2 are sold out.

I’m not the most knowledgeable college basketball fan, so don’t expect the most in depth knowledge and statistical breakdowns to tell you what ESPN and the like are going over nonstop today. I’ll give you what you want: gut feelings. So here are, in no particular order, 5 (in honor of Butler’s seed) non-scientific reasons that Butler will win.

1) Everybody in the world thinks Duke will win.
We’ve seen this before. “There’s no way XXX loses to YYY” BCS National Championships generally, with Florida over tOSU, Texas over USC. In other football, the New York Giants over the undefeated New England Patriots. Heck, even this year when Northern Iowa beat Kansas. Nobody gave any of these underdogs a shot, and they all came through. Expect to see it again tonight when Butler plays a lot better than expected, most definitely covering the spread (Duke -7).

2) Defense wins championships.
Okay, I said no science, so this will remain abstract. Butler has kept every opposing team to fewer than 60 points thus far in the tournament. Duke, on the other hand, struggled against Baylor, giving up 73 points. Arguably the first good team Duke had to face in the tourney (and I’m a Boilermaker fan), and in a similar situation with a “home” team (Waco not being all that far away from Houston), Duke nearly choked. Butler will shut down Scheyer from beyond the arc, the key to their defensive stand against the Blue Devils.

3) 2010 is the year of the sentimental story
Okay, so it’s only April, but so far this year the Saints, from a city still recovering from being essentially completely razed, defeated the perennial powerhouse of the Colts. All of America was pulling for the Saints that night, just as all of America is pulling for Butler tonight. The second story? Okay, nobody cares yet, and it hasn’t made the news, but quietly the Phoenix Coyotes are on their way to the playoffs after an offseason of bankruptcy and the threat of moving back to Canada. Wait until they win the Cup, then you’ll know I’m right.

4) Butler is playing at home (sort of)
Okay, so you’re thinking this is about crowd noise or sheer number of fans in the building… It’s not. Butler, like Duke, isn’t a “big” school. In fact, I’d venture to say that if every Butler alumni still alive were to be at this game, they wouldn’t even fill Lucas Oil Stadium. The difference is that Butler will be able to practice at Hinkle, sleep in their own beds, eat their home food, be able to keep their routine. Don’t underestimate the value of a home cooked meal!

5) Butler has won 26 straight!!!
Is everyone forgetting this? Butler is NOT a bad team!

5A) My girlfriend went to Butler, didn’t even know they were in the Elite 8 until I told her, and she falls into everything in the world (after all, she did get me (!!!))

5B) Their mascot is named Blue. How many times can you yell “You’re my boy, Blue!” with 6 beers in you? I guarantee you will not get sick of it.

I’m going to go ahead and say it here, right now: Butler 68, Duke 65.

So apparently I’m a popular guy on Twitter after a few people found the Joe Morgan drinking game. He really is inept and doesn’t belong in the box, let alone the “premier color announcer” for ESPN.

Tonight alone, Joe Morgan has introduced some great drinking game quotes:

“If Derek Jeter is the straw that stirs the drink, Alex Rodriguez is the fuel that powers the engine” What? That’s a drink.

“[Sabathia and Beckett] are Koufax and Marichal in their primes out there.” That’s a drink for stupidity and a drink for comparing to players of the past.

This was all before the middle of the first. 3 shots. I hope you ate a big dinner.

We’ll be continuing onward with more quotables as the game continues.

Top 2:
Joe made an astute comment about the Donovan McNabb trade! That’s probably worth a drink right there.

Joe “How far is it down the line? 280?”
Jon: “302″

That’s a definite drink.

Joe: “Do they call it Pesky’s pole” I mean at this point you’re 3 drinks deep and there have been no outs…

The best news is that they’ve watered down Morgan’s role with the addition of Orel. Finally we get out of the top of the 2nd, and you’re probably not seeing straight if you’re playing the JM Drinking Game.

Bottom of the second and Joe reminds us that “You can’t win a ballgame 0-0″ 7th drink of the night. Unless you’re 500 lbs, you’re legally drunk by now.

We’ve made it pretty far in the game without a whole lot of Joe Morgan stupidity, I think the decision to put in Orel Hershiser was to eliminate Joe Morgan’s need to fill in silence. Hopefully they’ll phase out Joe.

FINALLY, BOTTOM OF THE THIRD, JOE MORGAN, “We did the first night home opener back in Cincinnati.” Drink up, amigos!
In fact, he went with the “Cincinnati – Tonight’s weather” comment combination! He’s getting back in midseason form!

Joe reminiscing about his playing days with Orel, that’s a drink. 12th drink of the night.

It seems that tonight Jon is trying to talk more about the past than Joe has. I wonder if perhaps he’s just goading Joe into telling some horribly long story about the 1970s and get everyone in the country playing the drinking game to fall out of their chairs.

“Johnny Bench told me that” regarding country music no longer being call country western. That’s two drinks, we’re up to 14!

“Clearly he is out” on a blown call by Angel Hernandez where Pedroia was safe. 15!

After getting out of the box with a bunch of quality quotes, Joe is rather quiet. Perhaps age is finally getting to Joe. Who would’ve thought that senility would make Joe Morgan more palatable. And right on cue, a Rod Carew reference. That’s drink number 16.

Joe can’t tell the difference between Sabathia and David Ortiz, “David Ortiz only gave up one left handed home run [pause for about 10 seconds]. CC Sabathia only gave up one home run to a left handed hitter”

Big Red Machine reference with Joe talking about his playing days, bottom of the 6th. Two more drinks!

I’ve actually reached the stage where I’ve completely tuned out Joe Morgan and it’s Opening Night! I am in midseason form myself!

“The hearing is bad out of my right ear anyway” – Joe Morgan. I wish I was also so lucky.