Buck Showalter in Orioles garb, pullover jacket nowhere to be found.

God we missed you, AMSTS readers (all 3 of you). It’s been a long summer for Orioles fans. To be honest, they were so terrible, there wasn’t anything even remotely interesting to say about the team. The pitching sucked, the hitting with runners in scoring position sucked. Dave Trembley sucked, Juan Samuel sucked (even more than Trembley). Then we announced Buck Showalter. He started off 1-0, hey, maybe that’s an omen. 2-0. Wait, what? 3-0… WHAT ON EARTH? 4-0, you’re joking me. In Showalter’s first four games, he tied the Orioles for the longest winning streak of the year. He’s 12-8 at present, by far the best manager of the three the Orioles can have.

Of course the questions that arise make one wonder what he’s doing differently than the organization had been doing for the past … thirteen years. Of course, plenty of other people out on the internet are asking those questions, that’s not our job here at AMSTS. We’re here solely to complain.

But Buck’s 12-8, we don’t have much to complain about with him. Except maybe… WHY WASNT HE HIRED THREE YEARS AGO!? Even at the beginning of the year, I wonder what Buck would have been able to do with this team. I can’t help but think they’d be playing .500 ball. Buck’s recent success has made Trembley and Samuel look terrible, I’d have to think they will have difficulty finding managerial positions in the future.

However, throughout all of this, the important part of the Buck Showalter signing was the fashion statement that’s about to be made in Baltimore. Pullover jackets are to Baltimore what sweater vests are to Columbus. A new era of staying warm has come to the Chesapeake Bay region. Never again will one need to wonder what they should wear in 90 degree temperatures in Oriole Park. No longer must anyone living from Bethesda to York ask “Would it be wrong for me to show up to my brother’s wedding in a pullover jacket?”

The times, they are a-changin’.

As usual, apologies for not updating as much as I should, but would you if you were me? The Orioles are terrible and they’re not doing a damn thing about it.

The Orioles are in the middle of a 10 game losing streak and I’m having a hard time motivating myself to even turn the game on any more. The “young talent” is fizzling, and I’m not sure there’s anyone in the minors who could be called up to legitimately excite me any more. In fact, my much anticipated trip to San Diego to see the Orioles is in question, as I’m not even sure I want to see them any more. That and I can’t convince anyone to go with me. SAN DIEGO. None of my fellow Phoenicians will leave ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DEGREE TEMPS FOR SEVENTY DEGREE DAYS…. What’s wrong with this picture?

But I digress. I’m just not sure I can take it any more. The Orioles are terrible. They’ve now been terrible for half of my baseball-watching life. I haven’t seen a winning season in thirteen years and that number just gets higher and higher every year, with no end in sight.

I always had my out, too. Grew up in Boston, and I was just the contrarian. The Orioles of the early 90s weren’t flashy, they weren’t a bandwagon choice by any means, and they weren’t the local team, the Red Sox. That met all my qualifications, I was on the boat. Who knew that it would end up backfiring in fantastic fashion. Though it was probably for the best, as I feel that I’d be a particularly obnoxious Red Sox fan.

But at what point do you decide to just give in? I know I’ve written on and on about never giving up on your team despite how bad they are, but THIRTEEN YEARS is a long time. I guess I’m going to have to become a big soccer fan over the next month and hopefully that will hold me off until football season.

Step goes to the runner, according to Jim Joyce

Poor Armando Galarraga. 26 consecutive retired batters, 26 outs. A slow grounder to first, all it will take is a quick toss to Armando himself for the final out and the third perfect game of the year. He got him, by a step, perfect game!!! The third perfect game of the year, and nobody asks any questions.

At least that’s how it was supposed to go. Jim Joyce botched the call and screwed the kid out of a perfect game.

That’s got to be a pretty brutal kick to the groin.

At least he’s not an Oriole.

The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck. The Orioles suck.

I don’t know how else to say it.

I know they say you can’t fire the players, but can we try it and see if it works out?

Trembley isn’t really to blame for this. I am usually the first to blame a manager, but Dave has been shaking up the lineup to try and stimulate some offense and he’s been managing the bullpen better than I’ve ever seen him do, it’s just not working.

The bright side, if there is one, is that since the 2-16 start, the O’s have been playing .500 ball. My August disillusionment has come a few months early this year.

JaJuan Johnson is excited to head back to Purdue for his Senior year, obviously.

Not all bad news in AMSTS world, as JaJuan Johnson and Etwaun Moore have decided not to join the NBA Draft. This likely puts Purdue in the top 3 nationally in the preseason rankings.

Boiler up!!!

Okay, well, not exactly, but as is being reported on numerous other websites, MacPhail seemed to indicate today that anyone with an option left is available to be sent to Norfolk. Quote MacPhail to the Baltimore Sun: “I would say there isn’t a great deal of time left before they have to start doing more than what they’re doing now. I’m not staying with them forever. It’s not a suicide pact. They either have to start performing or they’ll go to Norfolk.” This leaves big names such as Adam Jones and Nolan Reimold. Of course, I understand the frustration. 7-21 isn’t exactly where we expected the team to be after 28 games, but if I’m a resident of Norfolk I’m thrilled at the opportunity to see major league talent in Norfolk. I mean sure some of these guys are sub .200 hitters but I’m not exactly sure sending them to Norfolk, where they’ll probably dominate, is the right decision. Not to mention the lack of talent in Norfolk to replace those sent down.

That being said, it’s May 5th and I am already almost completely cashed out on baseball season due to the miserable start this team has had. This was supposed to be a year with dramatic improvement, and from what I’ve seen, there’s been none of that. Our starting pitching is about the only valuable asset on the team, and even that’s slightly slipped a bit in the past few weeks. Usually it’s only after the August collapse that I cash out, but this abysmal team after 12 seasons of abysmal teams, I’m at the breaking point. Hopefully they’ll put together a 10 game winning streak and I’ll be sucked back in, but I’m almost at the point where I’m ready to spend my 3 hours a night doing something else, rather than see the Orioles take a lead into the 7th then blow it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up on my team, I’ll still follow them, but I’m not sure it’ll be worth the 18 hours a week watching Orioles baseball, or the four and a half hour flight out to Baltimore to spend my money and see the team in person. I love Baltimore but I’m just finding it hard to motivate myself when the team continues to be this bad year in and year out.

Okay so, as I mentioned, I attended the Game 7 slaughtering of the Coyotes. Brutal, yes. But after the game, and after the handshakes between teams, I experienced one of the greatest moments in sporting history at an event I attended. The remaining 10,000 or so fans, who had been on their feet and applauding since 1 minute to go in regulation, spontaneously broke out in “Let’s go Coyotes” as loud as they had been all game, but with 7500 fewer people. Thanking the team for playing hard despite the off the ice troubles. I was bummed about the loss, but that moment made the 60 minutes of domination totally worth it.

That being said, it’s baseball season now (sigh).

In other news, the buildup to Game 7 made me really consider how sports fanaticism gets to the verge of religious fanaticism. Let me count the ways:

First off, as a fan of, say the Red Sox, you would never consider ever becoming a fan of the Yankees, much like a pious Christian would never consider a move to Islam.

Secondly, the “houses of worship” are ornately designed edifices built to demonstrate the strengths of the organization.

Along these lines, the older stadia/churches/temples/mosques/whatever tend to attract people from outside the designated demographic (see: St. Peter’s, Westminster Abbey, Fenway Park, Wrigley Field).

In addition, the newer, more ornate, buildings also manage to attract an audience of outsiders (Oriole Park, any of the megachurches in the west)

Fifth, you’re considered a “diehard” if you set aside 10% of your salary for the organization, whether it be in the form of season tickets or the more traditional tithe.

Sixth, both will eat up a fair amount of your time on Friday nights/Saturdays/Sundays, depending on your team of choice (or all of the above)

Seventh, you will be continually tested in your faith, some fans more than others.

Eighth, you will never agree that another team is “better” than yours, even if deep down in your head you know it’s factual.

And of course, you get dressed up on the holy days.

Finally, you’ll have serious issues if you opt to marry a man or woman from the opposite faction, if you were raised in a strong (Irish Catholic/Jewish/Ohio State/Dodger) household.

I guess the major difference is that with sports, if you find out you were wrong, you only have to suffer for another year. With religion, it’s just a bit longer.

Jobing.com arena rocking right before the opening faceoff of Game 5

So I’ll admit it. I was ready to give up. I was at Game 5. It was a tough loss to stomach. I drove home, 45 minutes, in complete silence. I was ready to shave the playoff beard. Luckily for me (and unfortunately for Ms. AMSTS), I didn’t shave the beard. I abandoned all hope but watched Game 6. Refraining from giving up on my team just yet. The Coyotes did not disappoint. A fantastic showing by Bryzgalov won the ‘yotes the game 5-2. The series goes back to Phoenix on Tuesday, and who has two thumbs and a ticket to Game 7? This guy.

I don’t know if I can handle it. I nearly die in regular season games that go into overtime, a Game 7!?!?! I’m going to explode. If this goes the good way, it’ll be the highlight of my sports life. A loss, and it’s familiar devastating territory. Down there with Purdue’s loss to Wisconsin in ‘04, or Purdue’s loss in ‘07 to Ohio State, or the Orioles losing the 97 ALCS to the Indians, etc etc etc. Needless to say, I’ve been there before. It’s probably what brings me closest to the verge of tears in my life. I guess it’s either a privileged life, or I’m just way too emotionally invested in sports.

I think it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

So before I get into a big long spiel about everything, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone reading the website. We’re averaging over 25 visits a day, which is a ton, compared to what we were doing before baseball season. It’s all thanks to the Joe Morgan Drinking Game, and twitter. Speaking of which, follow us on twitter: @AMSTS

That being said, the Joe Morgan drinking game is a little dated, though still mostly accurate. Because of that, we’re going to put together the Joe Morgan Drinking Game v. 2.0. We’re now accepting your suggestions, please use the contact link above. In addition, once Fox starts their coverage, we most definitely will be introducing the Joe Buck (and Tim McCarver perhaps?) drinking game. It absolutely needs to be done. Apparently we’re quickly becoming your number one source for sports-related-alcoholism. My mom would be so proud.

So things are pretty miserable in the baseball world for me. The Orioles are 2-14 despite the best efforts of their starting pitchers to win games. Miserable batting, horrible relievers. Usually that doesn’t happen until August. Luckily, I’m able to distract myself with playoff hockey, and the fact that the Dolphins picked up Brandon Marshall, their first good WR in years. My friend Kevo, on the other hand, isn’t so lucky. An Orioles fan, Kevo was forced to suffer through a 2OT loss for his Sabres against the Bruins (bringing them one game away from elimination), It gets worse. A Bills fan, he was looking forward to the Bills picking Jimmy Clausen with the ninth pick. Or an offensive lineman. Or any position they needed depth. The Buffalo Bills promptly picked…. a running back. THEY HAVE TWO SOLID RUNNING BACKS, NO OFFENSIVE LINE AND NO OTHER OFFENSIVE THREATS. Life sucks in Buffalo tonight.

Speaking of Jimmy Clausen, I only wish he were in New York ala his fellow Notre Dame alum Brady Quinn, so I could see the disappointment in his face. I almost feel bad for the guy. He fell all the way from #3 on Kiper’s board to the 2nd round, and even then I’m having doubts it was a good pick for whatever team picks him up. Christ, Tim Tebow got drafted before him! Tim Tebow is about to become one of the biggest busts in the history of first round draft picks. The question arises whether or not Orton remains in Denver. I find it hard to believe you need to draft a QB after your current starter just came off a 3800 yard season. Of course, with the trade of Brandon Marshall, Denver is obviously trying to go for a younger team for potential long term success. We’ll see if it pays off.

While I’m taking in the draft, it made me think of how amazing the draft style would be useful in real life. Instead of getting hired at random intervals, it’d be pretty amazing if every industry had an annual draft. You declare for the draft, you interview with potentially interested companies, they put you through the motions at a combine-type thing, and you go home. You wake up on the day of the draft, sign on to watch the live simulcast and just wait. Will Bank of America call you and you’ll move to Charlotte, or will you get the call from Chase and move to Chicago? Or will you slide all the way down to Western Bank and Trust and be forced to move to Cheyenne? You’d watch your friends get picked, panic that they don’t really have your phone number, scream at the monitor. “THAT GUY DOESN’T KNOW A THING ABOUT EXCEL! HOW DID HE GO SO HIGH!??!” Finally you get the call, and realize that at least you have a job, even if you don’t really want to move to Flint.